Lizel Strömberg

2018 - A Roller Coaster of Emotions
 
2018, where to begin?
I find myself every year writing these posts about the past year. I'm not sure why other content creator write these posts, but I bet there are many different reasons behind it. For me personally, I like having these blog posts as something I can look back on in the future. In some way, it's kind of online dairy and by reading back on these thoughts I had when writing these post. I can get a sense of who I a was at that moment, where I was in life and who I wanted to become. This is also a way for me to look back on what I've achieved during a year and to share a part of my personality to the people who has decided to know a bit more about the person behind the work I usually post. 
If we look back on the resolutions I had for 2018, I've not been the best at fullfiling them.
 
What my goals were for 2018:
Start my business
- Starting my businiess wasn't something I felt was a good time to do this year. Many people have told me to just take a leap of faith and start a photography business. But I'm not a person that throw myself into something that I don't feel completely sure about, specially when it comes to something as huge as starting my own business. 
Becoming more structed
- I guess what I meant with this resolution was to having a more structured life and to all of my work I wanted to do in 2018. I can't say I achived this since I'm still figuring things out and it's something I'm still working on. 
Post content in a more timely manner
- My wish for 2018 was to become more productive and efficient enough to post my content in a more timely manner. If you may ask me, I think I've partly managed to achieve this because if you look back on what I've posted on my Instagram & blog, I've been a lot more active at posting photographs and stories than I ever have been before. I'm not as late with my posts and before my break, I updated on a regular basis. 
Take better care of my health: 
- I'm not going to lie, I have not been good at taking care of my health at all this year. I have most of the time been very stressed out and pushing myself way too hard when it comes to work. 
Stop working way too much without any proper rest:
- Resting and sleeping are two of the things I'm very bad at. I haven't been that good at giving myself a rest but recently I'm starting to become much better at taking my work aside and let myself to rest. 
2018 was truly a roller coaster of emotions. I have never been suffering with overflow of emotions as much as I've done this past year. There has been a lot of different impressions and new experiences throughout the year.  A lot of the times, I haven't been able to sleep properly because I didn't know how to deal with all the impressions I have taken in. People have disappointed me and surprised me. 
 
THE TRAVELS
My year started in The Philippines, I was there on a vacation for the first time without my parents and siblings. That vacation by itself was an adventure, I was for the first time in charge by myself of what I wanted to see and experience in The Philippines. Most of my relatives lives in the Philippines and that place will always have a special place in my heart. I hadn't been in the Philippines for about 3 years so I was very happy about being back meeting my relatives and have a change in the enviroment. I got to reconnect with my roots and my relatives there on a completely new level. It was basically the first time I was confident enough to let them in and talk more with them. 
Another memorable trip this year was to Portugal. First of all, it was my first time visiting a country with a friend where I don't know the language they talk. Visiting a country where you don't know much about the culture or the language are a bit challenging. During our trip we got to experience how to travel around Lisbon with the public transportation, eating new kinds of food, saw a lot of different kinds of art and met a lot of new people. Also, I don't think I have ever experienced the amount of guys who have been so insisted on getting our attention as much as they did in Portugal, which was definitely a weird but funny experience. 
 
PEOPLE'S IMPACT
I have met a lot of different kinds of people this year, some from the past but mainly a huge amount of new faces. The main impact during 2018 has been from the people I've met. Some people have made me feel the worst about myself, that everything about what I'm doing is wrong. I've been in situations where whatever I say or do, doesn't help which has made me feel helpless. Some people have showed me their interest and wanted to get to know me more, where the turn out hasn't been what I expected. But most of all, there has been numerous of people that have made me feel that I'm enough exactly the way I am. I have also recieved a lot more validation for my work with photography. 
I think it's interesting how people's approach, actions and how they make you feel have such an impact on your life. Despite if it's directly towards you or they way they treat other people around you. 
I've become much more careful of who I want to share my time and effort to. Within the past year, it's getting more easier to see through people's smiles and action, to know who's real and who's not. Nowadays, I truly treasure those moment when people make the effort to be in my life and show geniunely kindness towards me but also other people in general. 
 
I EVOVLED MY WORK & CHANGED MY APPROACH
In 2018, I made a huge step both personally and professionally. I decided to make the most out of the contacts I have and opportunities I could get to work on my photography. I attended various events to photograph, applied for press and went out to photograph what I could to create content. I started to attend more concerts and festivals as press, I managed to create a lot more contacts and more people started to know me as a photographer. All of the work I did gave me a taste of what could become in the future once I take the step as an entreprenur. 
Photography is my passion in life and right now, I can't see myself working with something else in the future. I loved having a lot of these opportunities to create content and it was a lot of fun meeting new people. But at the same time, working on my photography and putting myself out there completely scares the shit out of me. I need to find a balance with my work and personal life if I want to take my photography to another level and have it as my mainly job. I need to find a way where I'm not as stressed out over all the tasks I want/need to do, to become efficient but still love the work I do. It's truly a challenge specially as I'm such a workaholic and not good at giving myself a time out. I have many things I want to do in 2019 but there's yet a lot of planning to do before that. I only hope I can keep on working but at the same time live my life.
Within this past year I have been able to travel, work with my passion in a new extend and meet a lot of interesting people. There has been moments where I've felt extremly bad about everything and didn't want to do anything else than just be at home and sleep. But there has also been numerous of times where I've been very happy and even the smallest thing as someone saying hi with a smile have made my day. It has been a extremly learning year. Except for all the new skills I've learned along the way, I have become a lot more confident, become more sure of who I want to be as a person and I've learned to stand up for myself more. 
I know my confident can go up and down a lot, but I'm very proud over myself for the personal growth I've done  this past year. I might be very fragile at times, but I have never been as strong as I am today. 

There has been several people from this year that have made such a huge impact, some of them are included in this post but many of them are not. Even if they are not included with names or photos, I treasure the memories and how they made me feel. 
If you have read this far, I applaud you. I get that not many people will read through this but I still wanted to write this post not only to fall for doing the same the mainstreem kind of post as many other people do. I also made this post for myself. This was it for this time, thank you for taking the time to read this post. For the support you have shown me this year. There's more things to come and I hope you will be around for the next adventure. 
 
Hope you will have a nice New year's eve. Happy New Year and until next time: ingat!
Post Traumatic Tour - Stockholm
I originally wasn't planning to write a blog post about attending Mike Shinoda's concert in Stockholm at Berns, that an Instagram post would be enough. I think I mainly thought in that way because I knew I wouldn't get as good photos as I know I would be able to get if I have the access. Another reason why was also because I wanted to make sure I enjoyed every minute of the show and not think about getting footage or notes to write a post. But less than half way through the concert, the impact of what I experienced would be way too much to tell in one short IG post. I decided that I would write my thoughts about seeing one of my childhood idols for the first time and the roller coaster of emotions I experience through the music. This post is mainly for my own sake and if you find anything worth remembering after reading this, it would make me happy. Let's take this from the top!
As for long as I remember I've always been a huge fan of Linkin Park, ever since I first saw the music video to "In The End" on TV in the early 2000. I can hear that intro of "In The End" anywhere and I would recognize it immediately. Their music has had a huge impact on me and it have helped me through a lot of rough times. I can remember in my early teens whenever I was so angry that I didn't know what to do with myself, I would put Linkin Park on my CD player, play the music out loud just to feel the beat and hear Chester scream. Even if I couldn't scream myself, hearing Chester scream made up for it at the moment. 
As I'm not older than I am, I were not able to travel too far to catch one of Linkin Park's concerts when they were as most active, I never got the opportunity to see them live. Chester one of the lead vocals of the band, sadly passed I away last year and I say this for everyone that is a fan of Linkin Park that the band will never be the same without him. Linkin Park performed in Sweden last year but I was too afraid attending the big festival they performed at because of the increased number of sexual assualt and rape that unfortunately took place last year at numerous of festival in Sweden. I still regret not attending the festival but after seeing Mike Shinoda this week, it eased the pain.
I'm not going to lie, I was wondering how Mike's set would be like with him doing it without the rest of the members of Linkin Park. I didn't knew what to expect when hearing the Linkin Park's songs without having Chester there and I'm sure I wasn't the only one thinking about this. I had seen some of the setlist for shows earlier on the tour and it contained music from Linkin Park, Fort Minor and Mike Shinoda's own material. From the songs I could see, I knew the show would easily become very emotional. 
The concert started late but for someone that were very excited to even be there, I didn't mind at all. You could feel the excitment that was increasing every minute and the audience were chanting before Mike entered the stage. He started off with performing "Petrified". I won't lie but I haven't listened through Fort Minor's releases as much but I really enjoy that song!
I really liked the mix of music from Fort Minor, Linkin Park and Mike Shinoda's own solo material. It gives the fans to connect with Mike through the different areas of his music careers. Even if you are a long time fan or a newer fan of Mike there will be at least a couple songs you would recognize. Shinoda perfomed songs as "When They Come For Me", "Welcome" and "Hold It Together".
 
One particular part of the set that stood out was during the medley they played. Mike would take down the tempo and play a couple songs acoustic. I think this part vary a bit depending on what the audience like to hear and what Mike had planned to do. In Stockholm he performed an acoustic version of "Heavy" which is from Linkin Park latest released album "One More Light". "Heavy" was one of my most played songs last year and I was very happy to get to hear that song live. 
In this medley, Shinoda also performed "Numb" and "In The End" which are two of my favorite songs of all time from my childhood. Every time I would see those music videos on TV I would get so excited.   
I know a lot of people were a bit worried about Chester's parts of the Linkin Park's songs, but I think Mike did a great job at performing them by himself with the help of his band and the audience. I really appreciated the fact that Mike let us in the audience to participate in the show with singing the lines of Chester's parts. It was so much warmth in that venue, as much as the fans were there to support Mike, he was there to support us that also have felt a loss when Chester passed away.
At one part of the show, Mike had a speech about mental health. He said that physical health is like the mental health. That most of people have no problem with acknowledging when people feel bad because of a physical illness, that it's not something weird. But if you would say that you brain doesn't feel right, people don't always treat you right. This way of seeing mental health, needs to stop and we need to get better at it.
His speech about mental health really hit close to home as I've been struggling with my mental health for a while now, specially the past few years. I've heard people talk about this issue so many times and seen comments about it on the internet but seeing how Mike take a part of his set to talk about this issue felt so real to me and really hit me so hard that it even made me cry. It's hard for me to give a fair insight of his speech so I will just link a video of it in this post for you to listen to it and also hear how Shinoda sings "In The End" together with the audience.
I'm very impressed over Mike for releasing his first solo album and going out on a tour within a year of Chester passing. It must take a lot of strength every night to go up on that stage to play songs that has such a strong connection to the band. I know a lot of people have been very questioning about how Mike would handle being a soloartist, if he would make it by his own and create as good music as what Linkin Park has released over the years. 
Mike is truly one of the greatest songwriters and producers I know about, I think he has done such a great job with working on his soloalbum "Post Traumatic". When you listen through the album, you can feel the frustration, the sorrow through his music and some of his thoughts and emotions he experienced after the passing of Chester. It's very real and one particular track "A Place To Start" on the album makes my heart break every time I hear it. In the end of the song you get to hear Mike's closed ones talking in their condolences on his voice mail after the news of Chester. A detail like that makes the work more real and true to the message of the song. 
I've been at many different concerts but I have never experienced such an emotional concert in my life as Mike Shinoda's. I didn't know what to feel during the show. One minute I was smiling and laughing but the next minute I was feeling sad and even shed a tear. 
 
I've always been trying to understand why some hardcore fans would travel to all these different countries to attend numerous concerts on the very same tour. I've been a huge fan of many artists and I love seeing concerts but I haven't understand it until now. After seeing Mike on stage, had a roller coaster of emotions and hearing some of your favorite songs live with other fans, I get it now. It's the feels you want to feel, you want to experience all of it again through the music. You want to show the appreciation to the artist and have that moment of escape of the reality even if it's only for 2 hours. I get it now. If I was able to, I would have loved seeing Mike at one more stop. Only to have that escape of the reality for one more time. 
I'm actually very amazed over the few photos I managed to capture of Mike. The only camera equipment I had was my small compact camera which doesn't have a lightsensitive lens at all or the capacity to capture as good quality photos as my DSLR camera. Heading into the concert, I was fine with only getting one shot to be able to post about the show but in my surprise I ended up getting a few shots good enough to make this post.
It was so hard being on set and seeing all these nice opportunities to get great photos and not being able to capture it. The lights was very nice, the audience and Mike were close to each other. The drummer and guitarist also had very nice backlight and would put their magic on the set. I saw a lot of great moments that I would have loved to being able to capture but couldn't... It definitely made me a bit sad but at the same time, I'm glad that I was there to only enjoy the concert for this time. Some day I hope I will get the opportunity to capturing the moments of a Mike Shinoda show, but for now: this is what I you get from me. 
I'm aware of the fact that I have tons of content that I probably should have posted before this one but I had to create this post for my own sake as this event really made a big impact on me. I didn't want me to create this post when I had lost some of the memories over time. I don't know if you will get something out of this post. It's not really a review of the concert since I can't be objective as this is an artist and music I've treasured for such a long time. This text might be a mess and be all over the place but I hope you enjoyed reading my thoguhts and experiences by attending this show. 
 
Thank you to Mike Shinoda for a great concert, for all the music throughout the years, for being true and honest with the art you create! ❤️
 
This was it for this time. Until next time, ingat!
/Lizel
 
 
 
My New Year's Resolutions for 2018!
Happy New Year eveyone! Hope you had a great new year's eve!
 
People have different opinions about New Year's resolutions. Some people think resolutions are dumb and no point in having and others thinks it's a great way to make a change in their life. For me, writing down new year's resolutions is a fun thing to do since I can look back at my notes to see if I managed to fulfill what I wanted. It's also a great kind of content to make to get traffic because people are so curious of others. haha
One unwritten rule I have when writing my resolutions is to not make them too specific. Only because things can change over time and ideas can evolve in something different. I like to keep things open but still have a goal to work towards. That way, it reduces my stress over not having to done exactly what I wanted in the beginning. 
My goals/resolutions for 2018:
  • Start my business
  • Become more structure
  • Post content in a more timely manner
  • Take better care of my health
  • Stop working way too without any proper rest
 
That's some of my goals for 2018. Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, becoming a better version of yourself and to experience something new, are things you always should aim for. Without any passion and a will to evolve as a person, life wouldn't be as fun. Have that mind.
Do you have any goals or resolutions for 2018? Or maybe have any ideas you want to work further to? Don't hesitate to leave a comment and tell me, I'm curious to know!